There was a moment not long ago when a friend sat at his kitchen table, phone in hand, scrolling through headlines. Every story felt worse than the last. Economic stress. Global conflict. Personal pressures are piling up. By the time he looked up, his mood had shifted completely.
Nothing in his immediate life had changed. But everything felt heavier.
He later admitted, “I didn’t even realize how much it was affecting me until I snapped at someone for no reason.”
That kind of moment is becoming more common. And it’s exactly the kind of situation Taansen Fairmont Sumeru often speaks about.
“You can’t help someone else if you’re not steady yourself,” he says. “If two people are overwhelmed, nothing improves.”
It sounds simple. But in real life, it’s not always easy.
Why It Feels Like Everything Is Getting Worse
A lot of people feel like the world has become more negative. But part of that comes down to what we’re exposed to every day.
Think about it. Years ago, you might have heard major news once or twice a day. Now it’s constant. Alerts. Updates. Social media. Everyone is sharing everything at once.
It adds up.
There’s actually a term for this: negativity bias. It means we naturally pay more attention to bad news than good news. So even if good things are happening, they don’t stand out the same way.
Taansen puts it like this:
“When you focus only on what’s going wrong, it starts to feel like that’s all there is.”
He’s not saying ignore problems. He’s saying balance what you take in.
A Simple Example Most People Can Relate To
Imagine this.
You walk into a messy room. Clothes on the floor. Papers everywhere. It feels overwhelming.
Now imagine turning on a brighter light. Suddenly, you see even more mess.
Did the room get worse? No. You’re just seeing it more clearly.
“That’s what awareness feels like,” he explains. “Things didn’t just appear. You’re noticing them now.”
That moment can go one of two ways. You can feel stuck. Or you can start cleaning.
Why Your State Affects Other People
Think about someone in your life who always seems calm. Maybe it’s a parent, a friend, or a coworker.
When things go wrong, they don’t panic. They slow things down. They listen. They think.
Being around that kind of person changes how you feel.
Now think about the opposite. Someone who reacts quickly, gets overwhelmed, and spreads that energy.
It’s contagious.
“Your mindset isn’t just yours,” Taansen says. “It affects everyone around you.”
That’s why staying grounded matters. Not just for you, but for the people you care about.
A Story About Perspective
A small business owner once shared how he almost quit after a tough year. Sales were down. Costs were up. Every conversation felt negative.
Then someone asked him a simple question: “What’s still working?”
At first, he struggled to answer. But then he started listing things. Loyal customers. A strong product. A supportive team.
Nothing had magically improved. But his perspective shifted.
From there, he made better decisions. Clearer ones. He stayed in the game.
“The goal isn’t to pretend everything is fine,” Taansen explains. “It’s to see the full picture.”
Why Balance Beats Blind Positivity
There’s a difference between being positive and being realistic.
Ignoring problems doesn’t help. But focusing only on problems doesn’t help either.
Balance is where things start to change.
“You can see what’s wrong without losing sight of what’s right,” he says.
That’s where better decisions come from.
Small Changes That Actually Work
This isn’t about big life overhauls. It’s about small, consistent shifts.
Here are a few that make a real difference:
- Take breaks from constant news or scrolling
- Ask yourself what’s going right, not just what’s going wrong
- Focus on one problem at a time instead of everything at once
- Spend time with people who are calm and constructive
- Build simple routines that make your day feel steady
One person started doing something simple. Every night, they wrote down three things that went well that day. At first, it felt forced. But after a few weeks, it became natural.
They started noticing more good moments during the day because they were looking for them.
That’s how perspective shifts.
Why Negative Patterns Don’t Last Forever
It might not feel like it, but negative patterns tend to break down over time.
Poor decisions, constant stress, and reactive behavior eventually catch up. On the other hand, steady effort builds.
“Destructive patterns don’t hold up,” Taansen says. “They collapse eventually.”
That doesn’t mean things fix themselves overnight. But it does mean consistency matters.
What Staying Grounded Really Looks Like
It’s not about being calm all the time. Everyone gets frustrated. Everyone has bad days.
It’s about what you do next.
Do you react immediately? Or do you pause?
Do you add to the problem? Or try to steady it?
“Calm thinking doesn’t remove problems,” he says. “It helps you deal with them better.”
The One Shift That Changes Everything
If there’s one thing to take away, it’s this:
You don’t need to fix everything at once.
Start with your own state. Your own reactions. Your own habits.
Because when one person becomes steadier, it changes more than just their own experience.
It changes the room.
And sometimes, that’s where real change begins.
