Being a victim of a violent crime is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. Whether we’re talking about physical or mental injuries, these attacks take a lot of time to heal, often leaving a permanent trauma.
We begin to understand the full repercussions of a malicious action when we feel it on our skin. “Watching your loved one’s struggling after a crime is excruciating,” shares Victim Advocate, a Dade County victim services. According to these experts, the healing process is achievable but requires full family support.
In this article, we explain how these attacks could affect our family members. After that, we’ll talk about ways to help out.
How Does Crime Affect Victims?
You have to understand that it’s completely normal for your family members to have extreme reactions to a violent crime. Whether it’s becoming snappy or turning introverted, there are numerous ways people react to the situation. Their reaction will also be affected by previous life experiences and resilience.
Whatever the case, you can expect that a family member will exhibit strong emotions. The most common reactions are anxiety, fear, and feelings of insecurity. Many victims also exhibit a feeling of guilt and will start questioning their part in the crime. They often contemplate what they could’ve done better to prevent the situation.
Perhaps the worst thing about being a victim of the crime (besides the accompanying trauma) is that the person will start feeling inadequate. The sense of shame becomes so prevalent that it affects every person’s actions. In fact, this is the most common reason why many victims don’t even report the crime.
As you could’ve expected, the family member will also fear the victim. They experience overwhelming fear whenever they’re in a similar situation, i.e., when they’re walking alone at night. Some people will relieve the crime over and over in their hands, with a few even dreaming about a potential revenge.
How to Help a Family Member?
The good news is that all these problems can be somewhat remedied with your active involvement. As a father, mother, brother, or sister, you can do all sorts of things to help a loved one:
- If you notice your family member is acting weird, don’t be afraid to ask them how they’re feeling. The first step to healing is sharing with someone that you’ve been a victim.
- Your first reaction to the loved one sharing their story will affect the outcome of the healing process. If you scorn them for not putting up a fight, they will fall into a deep depression. Adversely, if you encourage them, it will be much easier to heal.
- Some people are victims of domestic violence. In these situations, you need to distance yourself and the victim from the attacker and ask for a restraining order.
- You have to understand that each victim reacts differently. Waiting for the moment of clarity or moment of healing is a fool’s errand. Instead, take your time helping the loved one and ease them up as they return to the prior state.
- Most victims have a delayed reaction to a violent crime. They will act as if nothing had happened, partially due to the shock. After that, all these negative emotions will start surfacing.
- Learn more about the healing process. Find web sources and contact numbers of experts who can help your family member.
- Encourage the family member to report the crime. The time is of the essence in these situations; the faster the loved one reports the attack, the faster police can react and find the culprit.
- Whatever the case, you have to believe a family member’s story, no matter how ludicrous it might sound. Keep in mind these are once-in-a-lifetime occurrences and they might consist of various elements and moments that don’t otherwise happen in the daily life.
- Give loved ones some space. Don’t force them to talk about the crime if they’re not ready. However, be available when they’re ready to confide.
- Although you shouldn’t criticize the loved one, you need to give a different perspective. Open a discussion with a person where you would be more of a listener. This would allow family member to open up and share everything that has been bothering them.
- Let the person know that the attacker is responsible for everything. This will help remove the feeling of guilt from your loved one.
- Fear is one of the dominant emotions that a person feels after an attack. Most family members don’t even realize how much the victim is traumatized after this experience. So, it’s imperative that you don’t underestimate or deny that feeling, as it would nullify the person’s negative experience.
- These discussions can’t be fought with rationality. You have to understand that the victim feels what it feels, and there’s no point in saying something like “This is nothing” or “Things are going to be fine.”
- The victim should introduce healthy activities into their life as a way of healing. Just about any sport is recommended, but you might also benefit from spending time outside, doing yoga and meditation, listening to music, or doing your favorite hobbies.
- If your family member is still going to school, help them out with learning. Their focus is at an all-time low, so they will have trouble with the curriculum.
- As mentioned, victims tend to relieve the moment over and over in their heads. So, don’t get annoyed if they’re being repetitive with their stories.
- For some people, these violent attacks leave a trauma for life. The others will recover rather quickly. Anyway, the recovery time will vary significantly from person to person, so don’t try to rush things.
- Although you should try to give feedback and support, you shouldn’t be too noisy. Keep in mind that the most important thing is to help the loved one heal, not satiate your curiosity.
- If the loved one is depressed, don’t leave them alone for a long time. This is especially important if you’re mother/father and they’re attached to you.
- The healing process can also be difficult for family members. So, as soon as the victim accepts help, take them to a professional. Share the burden with other family members so they can help you out.
- Create new memories with the victim. Don’t stop your usual routine. Do nice things, buy them presents, take them on trips, and do everything in your power to divert their attention from the issue.
Conclusion
The healing process after a violent attack is long and arduous. The loved ones show themselves in a completely different light, which makes it hard for family members to navigate. However, with some patience and a positive attitude, you can be the difference maker during the process. You can help your loved one overcome this trauma and get back to their life.