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RIGHTS: Shelters Open for Battered Husbands
By Vesna Peric Zimonjic
JAGODINA, Central Serbia, Sep 26 (IPS) - One in three women is ill-treated by someone or other in family homes, survey
after survey shows. And so the total of three men living in shelter in a small
home for battered husbands may seem unmentionably small in comparison.
But that may be because there isn't a shelter big enough for very many more.
The three men, among them a retired army colonel, are not the only three
who have faced abuse and violence from wives.
Dusan Trifunovic, who set up the shelter that he has named Male Safety, told
IPS "I'm receiving dozens of calls on a daily basis by men who want to come
over. Maybe I'll turn to a relevant ministry, either of human rights, or social
care, to obtain funds to expand the premises."
Trifunovic says he has seen a study by the Ministry of Human Rights which
"shyly assessed that between seven and ten percent of Serbian men are
exposed to violence by their spouses or live-in partners."
He seems right on the figures, though not everyone sees them his way. "Since
2004, the number of cases of family violence has tripled in Serbia," Serbian
Minister of Human Rights Rasim Ljajic told state-controlled Radio Television
of Serbia. "There is almost no municipality in this country without reports of
family violence, 90 percent of perpetrators being men."
Trifunovic, who sees himself as heading the shelter as an NGO in the tiny
town Cuprija near Jagodina, emphasised that "this is not a place for the
homeless, but for those who want peace and psychological shelter."
The idea, not surprisingly, came to him after he says he was ill-treated by his
former wife.
Five men have taken shelter in Trifunovic's safe house, and three of them -
Trifunovic included – have been living there for months now.
The colonel says he was beaten up by his wife. The third man, a pharmacist,
says he lost everything he had in a divorce settlement. Neither gave his name,
as the pharmacist said, "out to shame".
Biserka Jakovljevic, head of the social care centre in Jagodina, says that
"cases of family violence by women are extremely rare." But, she adds, men
are often reluctant to admit they've been beaten.
They are also, she says "exposed to a more sophisticated form of violence -
psychological. It goes from a ban on seeing children regularly to extortion of
money on the pretext of children's needs."
Family violence, mostly against women, has been getting greater attention
over the past few years. And some of the attention seems to be turned to
battered or abused men as well.
Similar trends have been reported in other nations of former Yugoslavia.
In Croatia, Dom Duga a shelter for victims of family violence opened in March
2008. Croatian media reports that of 365 people who sought shelter in the
first six months, 20 were battered men. The men reported that they were
beaten up by their wives with available kitchen equipment like pans and pots.
The Banja Luka Centre for Public Security reports that 23 women have been
booked for violence against their husbands so far in 2009. Fourteen of the
men reported they were beaten up, and the rest complained of verbal insults.
Banja Luka is the capital of the Republic of Srpska (RS), the predominantly
Serb part of Bosnia-Herzegovina.
In Modrica town, some 110 km northeast of Banja Luka, some 20 men have
sought help this year from Future, which describes itself as an NGO helping
battered men.
"It was mostly psychological abuse, but there were also cases of battered
husbands or elder family members, such as fathers-in-law," head of Future
Gordana Vidovic told IPS on phone.
"Men are ashamed to admit it, as the broader environment would treat them
as weaklings...but the daily beatings or humiliation due to their alleged
incapacity to find work, support family, or for being simply a burden to
impoverished families has become routine for some."
"Men exposed to family violence feel humiliated and embarrassed,"
psychology professor Zarko Korac in Belgrade told IPS. "They keep quiet
because they don't want to be ridiculed by their family or friends, separated
from children etc...But they are also ashamed of not being 'real men', and
often become depressive and even suicidal.
"On the other hand, violent women are selfish and narcissistic, often with
some behavioural disorders. The rage and impulsiveness serve to impose
control over other members of their family."
(END/2009)
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